The inbetween and the after

 I have allowed Lotz of time pass .....

Why you may ask, well there is a long list of excuses:

• I changed jobs, nope careers. I placed my dream job, the one I desperately longed for, never received, aside.
• I accepted a job as a Kindergarten teacher and the rewards of my job appeared every single day, ten little children, with a rude awakening on how important education, work ethic, attitude, JESUS, respect, honesty, and kindness is daily.
• I wrestled with my stage of life and being single. I was so busy wishing and hoping instead of allowing God to work.
• I faced hardships with friends
• I struggled with my identity, my past, my present and my future.
• I started devoting time to the youth ministry at my church and learned more from them weekly than I could of ever imagined.
• A man came into my life, became my best friend and now I am engaged to be married this fall. 

Most importantly over the year God has been faithful and I am ready to start sharing again.

God has placed us in community with friends and family to share our ups and downs with one another. We are not meant to hold it all in and pretend on social media that we have it all together.

Truth of the matter is we are all messy, broken and in need of a community that is honest and supportive no matter what we face.  The community doesn't need to look one specific way or meet for a certain event. We are just to be together, to gather.

Gather with me and lets share about our lives. 

Courtney :)

I bring God Joy

God is continuously teaching me to rest in my identity in HIM. It can be hard to turn off the outside influences, rest, focus, and be still. I have to remind myself daily of the importance of my heart and soul being filled with the truth I so desperately need.

On my mirror is a small little card that reads, " You are treasured. You are worthy. You are beautiful. You are loved."  It helps me lean on the one who loves adore me beyond anyone on this earth can. Someone that knows me more than I know myself, that can read my mind and turn my harsh thoughts into one full of encouragement. When I am frustrated with my expectations of myself, I can read these words and remember.. that God delights in me. The imperfect, always striving, attempting to control, hardly resting girl.

Zephaniah 3:17
The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save, he will rejoice over you with gladness, he will quiet you by his love, he will exult over you with the loud singing. ( He SHOUTS with joy over us!)

" God's joy for us isn't dependent on how "good" or not "good" we perform, but is based on His innate love for who we are and who He made us to be. He made us in his image, each with a unique set of fingerprints and unique personalities, talents, and callings. And the sight of us, each set apart from one another, each clothed in His grace and reflecting His image, brings Him great joy!" (John- Michael Becker)

This weekend at a girls retreat we talked about the concept of rest, which I am feel like it has always been an area that is a challenge. In Breathe by Priscilla Shirer, it talked about the Sabbath as being designed to be a lifestyle. It is an attitude, perspective, an orientation for living that enables us to govern our lives and steer clear of bondage.

Cease, stop, pause so we can rest from our busy, fast pace lives and rest in Jesus.

Oh, How He Loves Us

     The other day on my way to work I had a revelation, I discovered how much I have neglected to remind myself how deeply I am loved. This may sound a little too blunt or honest, but it is true. Although I read the bible, devotionals, and other inspirational books, I neglect to remind myself each and everyday how much I am loved. I was listening to the radio and one my best friend's favorite songs came on. I typically just sing along with songs, but the spirit wanted me to experience something.  The spirit had me listen to the words, and soak in the truth it proclaimed. As I weeped on I26 turning onto Patton ave, a huge cloud of peace came over me. 

I am loved.

Its a powerful phrase.

It has multiple meanings and some are hard to understand or even to accept.

God created me uniquely and knows me better than anyone ever will.

He adores me in my struggles, my sin, my inadequacies, my weakness, my brokenness and my mess. 

He wants the best for me. 

My purpose has been made by him. 

His plan is bigger and better than I could imagine.

His timing is perfect and I shall trust in it.

I do not have to do anything to earn it.

His son paid my debt so I could live in freedom.

I do not have to perform, dress a particular way or rely on others opinions.

Friends, God loves you,

Only HIS opinion matters.

If I could only view ourselves as God see us,  pure and righteous.

He designed you with a unique purpose. Right where you are, He loves you. 

  Oh, how I am loved.

God, help me be reminded daily of your love that embraces me.

 Remind that I am your child.

continue to use the spirit to guide me, convict me, and transform me from the inside out. 

  I shall not conform to the pattern of this world. 

I desire to cling to only you for my purpose and identity.

 Your promises, faithfulness, gentleness and patience with me continue to amaze me.

Thank you Lord for your unfailing, unwavering, constant love.

 

CMJ

  

 

Seasons

I love the change of seasons!
(Partly, because this means I get to pull out a whole new wardrobe hidden away in my closet)
Specifically, I really enjoy the change from summer to fall and winter to spring.
However, I'm not sure I really like it when theres a drastic change all of a sudden. 
Western North Carolina had snow on Halloween.--- Its not supposed to snow until at least the middle of November... I mean really snow? I guess a winter dream started early this year.
I'm really not complaining because I enjoy hot tea and painting when its cold outside.

But the real reason I'm talking about seasons is that seasons happen also in our spiritual lives.

Sometimes the seasons shift without much preparation. It is a challenge to be wholeheartedly willing to roam the direction that the wind blows.  I wish it was easy, and I wish I could remove emotions, frustration, questions or even the doubt.  When there is a shift in season, it causes me to look at my feet. This may sound strange, but where are my feet standing?.. Are they grounded in my foundation in Christ or have they stepped onto a different path?... Am I mourning over a season I wasn't supposed to be in?  Can I make my plan  or my path into his?  Was I in control instead of him? Was I proclaiming to be independent instead of dependent on God? What I want is not what I need?


The other day, I stumbled on these words and they captivated my heart, I hope you also can walk away with something. 
Hebrews 4:14-16
Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weakness, but we have one who has been tempted in every way  just as we are- yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. 

Our human tendency is to let go of our faith and grab ahold of something society grants as more important. I allow the culture at times to guide me off HIS path and onto a path of my own.

These verses in Hebrews warn us, encourage us and want us to hold firmly onto my FAITH. Its reminding me of how much Jesus can relate to the things I face. He walked on this earth and no matter how challenging the season He faced, He was able to be without sin. 

--Are you able to approach the throne of grace with confidence?
--Where does this confidence come from?
-- Our need is to walk firmly and without hesitation of Gods perfect plan for each of us. 
Each of us were designed for something unique.

Discover what you were made for by running to God's arms in each season that you face. 
You will be embraced and shown immeasurable grace as you stumble through life with your eyes fixed on Jesus. 


 I'm no fancy theologian, I just desire to run toward God and forgo the cultural influences that cause me to take control. I do not need to be in control, but to daily remind myself to surrender it. 


What kind of season are you in? Do you need prayer for the season God has placed you in?

CMJ

Patiently impatient... I will wait

The title of this blog entry probably seems like a crazy phrase, but the thing is it exactly how I feel. Can you really be patient and impatient at the same time?
Is it possible to be content in your current season while at the same time long for more?

I am waiting on a job, direction to where I am supposed to move and still single.  I view this season as preparation for something bigger than I could ever imagine. Theres a ministry or an job waiting for me and He will reveal it in His timing.

Currently, I am in the middle of a bible study with  IFgathering which is an amazing resource of women desiring for global community. We are studying Acts and boy, does the early church face challenges. The early church is constantly struggling with what means to be a christian (jew, gentile, roman, greek), how to become one (baptism, statement of faith) , what are the standards to be a christian (circumcision)?  They are filled with the Holy Spirit.  At one point in Acts, through  a vision, the spirit says go to Macedonia and the apostles well, they go to Macedonia. They just move where God leads them without hesitation. They are willing to fulfill His purpose no matter what kind of persecution and suffering it entails.

What does it take for someone to do this today? To get uncomfortable? To be gospel driven? To be confident that Gods plan is going to work out despite the hurtles to get there? To praise God after being beaten and imprisioned?

I have been extremely encouraged by Acts and all that the early church faced. They lived out the gospel, shared the good news and stayed in tune with the spirit.  I see that my trials, my waiting season is all temporary and is for a good purpose.

I am willing to go where he leads me.. Are you?


My fellow brothers and sisters,
theres encouragement about His timing although it may seem like forever or you might not understand why He's done what He as done.. His purpose and plan for it all is to draw us closer to him. He wants to remind us that He is enough and we don't need a fancy job, car, or house or an all american dream family all we need is Him.  If He provides for our needs and is sufficient, why would we need to be fixed what we don't have?

Contentment is possible as you patiently impatiently wait.

Feel free to respond and share your story or whatever you are facing. 

CMJ

Social Media and finding a balance

Each day, I wake up I look at the social media to see what everyone has been up to...

Facebook, Instagram, Email, text messages. 

Do you think about how much time we spend looking at what other people are doing?

How much we compare our lives?

Make rash judgements on what we see?

How much we post things to boast and be perceived in a certain way?

I contemplate getting rid of Facebook because so often I see it as a source where people using it for the wrong intentions....broadcasting things are irrelevant, a lack of encouragement, and even hurtful toward others.

I debate about it and then remember how I would lose touch with my many friends around the globe, that I could miss an opportunity to reach out to someone who is hurting, that moment when you share a bit of the gospel, grace, and love to someone who desperately is searching for approval and love.

I have decided to start daily encouragement for everyone. It will not focus on my successes, but focusing in on my failures and what I learn from them.  Our society and culture is thriving on peoples success and their lavish lifestyles. Why not instead focus on life, the reality of it? The hardships we face, the trails and tribulations that seem to never end only to remind everyone theres hope even in the dark tunnel.

Be intentional

Be Bold

Live out the gospel

 Are you allowing social media to be a way to share the things that are vitally important to your life or are you using it to blend in with our culture?

This is the beginning of something new- a season of encouragement

 Follow my Instagram or Facebook to see the daily encouragement

CMJ

My Dear

 Its so common for our minds to affiliate songs with certain events. 

 It happens to me all the time. 

 I think about the various times when I have experiences ups and downs,  a song comes to mind.

 I've even thought about putting my testimony into songs with explanations.

Perhaps bits and pieces of it .. I will. 

Songs consist of words that can express so much emotion and passion.

Draws in the audience and they begin relating in some sense.

I find the connection between my relationship God very much in this song.

I can't believe that it had been two years since Korea.

This song- My Dear by Bethel Music on their CD- The Loft Sessions                          

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nf7fOnsHW74

It was part of what I discovered during my time in Korea...... God loved me. 

His love is powerful and freeing.

My past, my sinful nature, my horrible attitude, my lack of priorities...

He still loved me.

Hesed is God’s loving kindness—the consistent, ever-faithful, relentless, constantly pursuing, lavish, extravagant, unrestrained, one-way love of God. It is often translated as covenant love, loving kindness, mercy, steadfast love, loyal love, devotion, commitment, or reliability. - Mark Driscoll